BACIB part 9: Dealing with unsolved emotions

Omg it has been too long like seriously. I haven't written for so long, because there was one thing that kept me occupied. My unsolved emotions.. Before reading this its best to go and read the quote, because I’m going to refer to it a few times..

While thinking of what to write today I was overflown with different emotions and thought well let me write about that.. It has been an extremely busy few months for me and I wasn't really sure if I was dealing with it right.

The beginning of this year was quite busy. It’s our last few months in secondary school and we need to get our school projects done and make sure to keep giving it our all, but I just couldn’t. It was really hard to stay focused. I would slack off sometimes and procrastinate a lot.

I suppressed so many different feelings that I couldn’t tell which one I was sad or angry about at a any point. Suppressing unsolved emotions is like forcing a bird to stay in a cage. It wants to come out, but it can’t, because you want to keep it in.

It has been quite tough for me to actually accept the emotions I had and try to solve them.. I kept telling myself that if I keep them to myself no one will be hurt and there will be peace, but actually there was no peace at all. The longer I surppressed the worse it got. I felt sad, guilty and suffocated and I didn’t really know how to solve it, because I had kept it to myself for so long that I started feeling really bad. I had been living a life full of lies and I had been telling myself and others that I was okay, but I wasn’t. I had been trying to keep peace, but actually created tension. People around me started noticing when I was in a bad mood and it became worse and worse until I kinda shut myself out..

After that I realised how bad it was getting and how keeping it to myself was getting me nowhere I started exploring other options.. I started talking to people and I realised what I had to do. I brought all my problems to the Lord and started praying. I started focussing on building my solid relationship with God so that I would stop doubting myself and actually be me. They were a few verses that reminded me of who I was an actually helped me to get back up..
The first one was from Matthew..

Matthew 15:18

But the things that come out of a person's mouth come from the heart, and these defile them.

Proverbs 4:23

Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.

I realised that me acting the way I was, was because my heart was full of pain and the pain was reflected through what I was saying and doing. The pain in my heart that was there was all because I had stopped guarding my heart, I let negativity enter it. The verse that kept popping up during this period was a very well know one from Psalms.

Psalm 139: 14
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

This verse in combination with a conversation I had with Mita really changed my mindset.. It reminded me of who I actually was. So to all of you out there who are suppressing how they truly feel: it’s not healthy.. Pray about it and find someone to talk to and I know it isn’t really easy, but you gotta do it for yourself!

~Musa

                                 

the little bird

Trapped..

 In a cage.

Not knowing how to escape the cage. Yet I keep trying..

I managed.

Next thing is to get to the window.

I get caught again and put into my cage..

I don’t give up and keep trying.

I try again and I manage again..

This time I get to the window.

I try to open it, I can already smell the fresh cold air outside, 

I’ve almost opened it,

 but I’m too slow…

I get caught and put into my cage again.

Third time, good time…

But how?

How can I escape my cage?

How can I break free and fly along with the other birds?

When will I breathe the fresh air outside?

For now all I know is that one day I will break free and fly with them,

But when?

Black and yellow...

Hey everyone, how have u been? I hope you all had a nice New Year!! 

Today we’re going to get a little more personal, I'm going to tell you a story!

A few weeks ago my youngest sister, 

who is 4 years old now asked my mum: “Mummy, why am I brown? I’m even close to black you know, why am I black?”

My mum replied:
“you are the most beautiful princess in the world and black is a very beautiful colour.”

My sister then said in an angry tone: “Mummy, you can’t say that, ea!
Everyone is beautiful, you can’t just say that I am the most beautiful princess in the world.” 

(Although she did believe what my mum said and agreed with her, hahaha!)

Now before I continue with this story I’m going to tell you a little more about my sister.

Let me start with this: 

she isn’t normal at all, haha. She is just too smart. 

I can’t believe she realizes things that other age mates don't realize or simply can't. 

She is someone who loves to play, dance and draw a lot and she loves being very childish (lol she is 4) ,
but when she asks you a question or gives you a reason for something, 

she becomes the most serious person ever and if you try to joke with her she'll get angry
(It’s quite funny, because to her it all makes sense, even if some things don’t make sense at all, I mean she is 4.)

Another thing I want to let you know is that she loves crisps,

especially the salty ones, okay to be honest, only the salty ones.

Now let me continue...

After she told my mum off for calling her the most beautiful princess in the world,

she went silent for a minute, then she asked: “but mum crisps is also very nice and it’s white,

so why am I not white?” My mum laughed and said: “are you a crisp?”

My sister knew that mum got her and burst out laughing!

A day later my mum came home from work and found my younger sister’s drawing on the dining table.

I don’t know is any of you know the nick jr. program Ni Hao, Kai Lan? 

So my sister had coloured Kai Lan (the lead character of the show), 

but the way she coloured her in, wasn't the way Kai Lan looks like.. 

    

Now she believed that black is very beautiful, but she also knew that everyone is beautiful! It doesn't matter which color you are, 

❤ YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!! ❤

YEARBOOK 2016 !!!

Soooo, I hope everyone is having a happy holiday !! We're only a few minutes / hours before the new year. How exciting is that ! Because it is the end of the year we decided to make a year , you know to look back on everything we've done this year and we wanted to share our year with you guys! I hope you guys can look back too and smile about it all !

We wish everyone a happy and blessed 2017 !!

March 2016
We're starting in March, because in January and February nothing special really happened. In March I, Musa went back to my homecountry: Zambia. I spent 3,5 weeks. It was really refreshing to see my family and friends again after 12 years.

 I visited a lot of different places with huge gardens and my aunt tought me how to plant vegetables.

April 2016

So our journey together begins with Paris.. In the beginning of this year we went on a 4-day trip to Paris with school. We had so much fun. We walked a lot so we were also pretty exhausted in the evenings. In Paris we really became more exposed.

      

💗💗VERSAILLES💗💗

With Katherine, our little bestie !! She hates pics, but we managed to convince her to pose and smile for this pic, jeeej mission complete !😉

(Day) The Eiffel tower (Night)

Somewhere in the middle of Paris ( can't remember the name tho, it was a very cool place)

OMG do some of you know the K-Drama DOTS??? If u do, you will know why this picture was taken like this. For the people who don't know: DOTS is a shortcut for Descendants Of The Sun, a Korean Drama that came out at the beginning of this year. It is about a soldier and a doctor who do a lot of interesting and exciting stuff. If you want to know more you can look it up and watch it online. This pose is one of the famous poses in the drama..

 When u ask the squad to pose for a quick pic

In Musee d'orsay, we wanted to look cool and copy the statue of liberty, after trying a couple of times we finally managed to take a good picture.

It  was such a nice time with these people in Paris ! Since Paris this group has become so close and they are really amazingly cool people to be around love them lots !! 💓

 On the last day we had the opportunity to have a drink with the whole class !We weren't allowed to have alcohol, so non-alcoholic coctails it is ! 

April vacation
Mita's grandfather and grandmother from her mother's side visited Europe for the first time, so she went to a lot of places with them during the short break.

Their first visit was in Spain, Her uncle lives there so he showed them a lot of different places. They only spent four days there but they had a lot of fun !









Her grandfather poses for the pic !😎😎


Her next visit with her grandparents was in Belgium itself. They went to a lot of places and visited many relatives, but she lost a lot of her pics because her phone broke a month ago, so these are the only pics we have. These pics are  from Waterloo.

For their last visit, they went to Holland to look at all the beautiful flowers in Keukenhof !

Her grandparents are so hip with their poses ! 

Mita didn't deny that she requested them to do the DOTS pose for the last picture !

May 2016
Our next stop is Antwerp:

In May we went to Antwerp with our class, yes, last academic year we went to quite a lot of places with school. In Antwerp we were allowed to walk around freely and explore the town..
 

Stadhuis Antwerpen   

                         Begijnhof Antwerpen -->

Then summer vacation came.. The big adventure began.. We started our blog.. I remember the first post we posted, we had soo much fun !! After that we started doing photo shoots and got together to write blog posts ! It was an amazing experience. Starting a blog really brought us closer together.. Although we were already quite close we got even closer..

We also worked at a kids daycare. If you want to know what happened there u can check out  Working with kids for a week. We had so much fun this past summer...

We started our summer vacation with a campfire at a friends' place.. We were celebrating her 15th birthday !!

The second of July we finally uploaded our first blog post !! It was called "My fight against time"

It was deleted from the Blog due to personal reasons..

First pic of Mita without braces ! 

 

 Our very first photo shoot.. Musa didn't know how to dab back then, so it was sloppy !! 

Here are some other pics we took for the first photoshoot ! 😄

August 2016

Mita had another grandparent visit Belgium for the second time. This time she was from her father's side. She couldn't walk for a long time so she didn't go to as many places as the other grandparents, but here's a pic of a place she did visit with Mita. The Atomium in Brussels.

Our second photo shoot ever ! We really had a lot of fun doing it all !! 😀

Even at chuch we had a lot of fun ! I (Musa) became closer to them during this summer, we strenghened each other when we had problems and helped each other growing in faith.

September 2016

Then school started.. Life got busier and more complicated.. But we kept going, we tried our best to keep up with posting, but it got hard to post regularly...

School had started but Mita was still in a festive mood ! These are photos taken at the traditinal Nepali festival called Teej. She also had a mini photoshoot with her Nepali friends. She tried a lot of poses from the hindi movies she watched when she was little !

October

In October we had a friends' birthday ! She turned 17. All the girls were invited for a sleepover, we had sooo much fun and no sleep lol !

The Girls Gang

😎😎😎

We also went on a 3-day trip with school called "bezinning". It was really an awesome experience and we had a lot of fun !!!😂

November 2016

In November Mita had another traditional festival called Tihar. It's a festival to show your love for your siblings with gifts and flowers. Her brother didn't want her to post his photo so here's a photo of her alone. 😋

December 2016

December is a very festive month for everyone. We have school vacation, Christmas, New Year's Eve and also Mita's birthday. December is obviously her favorite month, specially because everything is decorated with lights and it's all so pretty ! We HAD to do another photo shoot with our city being lightened up so much !

We hope everyone had a great Christmas this year ! We hope Santa gave you what you had wished for !😊💗 Musa and Mita spent Christmas together this year and it was very exciting because it was the first time we spent it together !

Mita spent her birthday in Antwerp with her sisters from another mother !

They had a lot of fun together !

Another year has ended yet again, and we begin a new year. Every year has been a blessing for us, but this one was special because we started our blog this year and we got to meet some of you guys through social media. It is very exciting for us to meet you guys so don't be afraid to approach us through whatever source you can ! We thank you all for your support we've received this year and all the other years to come. We hope you can all welcome the new year with a smile on your face, wherever you may be, because we will be smiling with you too. :)

~Meli-Mita-Musa