Discovering beauty part 2

Hey how have you all been?
 Today I'm going to continue on our journey to discovering beauty.. (I'm sorry for letting you wait this long) If you haven't read the first part please check it out before reading this one, so that you can understand this one better. Click here.
Now I'm going to go on with part 2.

So I had to start accepting myself as beautiful.. I think it was the hardest thing i ever had to do. How can you just start loving yourself after hating yourself for so long? Honestly it's just impossible or maybe it isn't..
Let me give you guys a few tips on how to actually gain confidence. Some might seem stupid, but trust me they actually help.. A LOT !!

1) Surround yourself with the right crowd. Whether you like it or not people influence you constantly. If you're around people who are constantly talking negative about you, how do you expect to become positive? Again it's not impossible, but negativity will just make it harder to stay positive. It shouldn't be the group of people with the newest make-up or the people with the strictest diets, it's the ones with the positive mindset. The ones who will encourage you to achieve your goal at all costs!!

2) Never give up!! I know this is obvious and we all know this one, but actually try to do it!!

3) Wake up every morning stand in front of the mirror and call yourself pretty. I know this is a very childish one, but it does work.. if you do this for some time, you will start to believe it..

4) IGNORE NEGATIVE COMMENTS!!! They're all lies. The people who say negative things about you are usually jealous or they're just being childish and most of the time they don't even know you, so don't let they're comments affect you.

5) Please don't try to hide your face behind layers of make-up!! I know make-up is nice and we like to use it, but girl: you are also beautiful without it!! if you're using make-up to "cover up flaws" lemme tell you this: it's not working and you're waisting time and money! If you want to wear make-up: okay, but make sure your reason is not to "cover the flaws".

Okay so here are  tips to start with.. It's not always an easy journey, but the journey really is worth it!
I wish you all a lovely and blessed Friday!!

~Musa

BACIB part 9: Dealing with unsolved emotions

Omg it has been too long like seriously. I haven't written for so long, because there was one thing that kept me occupied. My unsolved emotions.. Before reading this its best to go and read the quote, because I’m going to refer to it a few times..

While thinking of what to write today I was overflown with different emotions and thought well let me write about that.. It has been an extremely busy few months for me and I wasn't really sure if I was dealing with it right.

The beginning of this year was quite busy. It’s our last few months in secondary school and we need to get our school projects done and make sure to keep giving it our all, but I just couldn’t. It was really hard to stay focused. I would slack off sometimes and procrastinate a lot.

I suppressed so many different feelings that I couldn’t tell which one I was sad or angry about at a any point. Suppressing unsolved emotions is like forcing a bird to stay in a cage. It wants to come out, but it can’t, because you want to keep it in.

It has been quite tough for me to actually accept the emotions I had and try to solve them.. I kept telling myself that if I keep them to myself no one will be hurt and there will be peace, but actually there was no peace at all. The longer I surppressed the worse it got. I felt sad, guilty and suffocated and I didn’t really know how to solve it, because I had kept it to myself for so long that I started feeling really bad. I had been living a life full of lies and I had been telling myself and others that I was okay, but I wasn’t. I had been trying to keep peace, but actually created tension. People around me started noticing when I was in a bad mood and it became worse and worse until I kinda shut myself out..

After that I realised how bad it was getting and how keeping it to myself was getting me nowhere I started exploring other options.. I started talking to people and I realised what I had to do. I brought all my problems to the Lord and started praying. I started focussing on building my solid relationship with God so that I would stop doubting myself and actually be me. They were a few verses that reminded me of who I was an actually helped me to get back up..
The first one was from Matthew..

Matthew 15:18

But the things that come out of a person's mouth come from the heart, and these defile them.

Proverbs 4:23

Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.

I realised that me acting the way I was, was because my heart was full of pain and the pain was reflected through what I was saying and doing. The pain in my heart that was there was all because I had stopped guarding my heart, I let negativity enter it. The verse that kept popping up during this period was a very well know one from Psalms.

Psalm 139: 14
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

This verse in combination with a conversation I had with Mita really changed my mindset.. It reminded me of who I actually was. So to all of you out there who are suppressing how they truly feel: it’s not healthy.. Pray about it and find someone to talk to and I know it isn’t really easy, but you gotta do it for yourself!

~Musa

                                 

Discovering beauty part 1

Hey everyone, how have u been?
Okay today I'm going to talk about beauty and self love, but before you continue reading this one, make sure you've read the story that came before this to understand this post. To read the story klick here.

Now that you've read the story you can continue reading this post...

Now this seems like a really silly story, but we actually experience such stories every day. 

We ask ourselves: 

Why are my legs so ugly? Why is my tummy so big? 

Why isn’t my nose shaped like that other nose?  Why don’t I have the perfect eyebrow game? 

Why don’t I hardly have any eyebrows?
Lol, for the people who go through this one: I know the struggle is real.

Why doesn’t that dress look good on me like it did on my friend? Why can’t I be like this one? 

And I can go on and on with questions, but you guys know what I’m trying to say. 

I remember when I was younger I would ask my self so many on those questions that I listed above. 

I really used to get bothered by them. Even know some of the questions still haunt me, 

but just as my mum told my sister: are we crisps? Does it really matter how we look?

Do we really have to change ourselves to be perfect? 

Do we really need the plastic surgery or the extreme diets?

Okay I understand that when you are not healthy, you need to go on a HEALTHY diet and become healthy.

When I was in 1 year of secondary school (1st year of middle school or in some countries grade 7)I used to feel awful about myself.
I used to be laughed at very often. 

They would call me fat and ugly.
They would insult me because of my braids and my clothes.
They would exclude me and tell me that they don’t like me, even if they didn’t know me, just because I looked the way I did.

I used to feel so bad. I didn’t have many friends back then.. 

People would be fake to me a lot of times. 

The few friends I had, would be scared to come up for me,

because they didn’t want to get teased themselves and I understood it, but I felt really bad..

It got so bad that in my 2nd year I started binging. I wouldn’t eat at all during the day 

and when I’d come home I’d eat like a horse.. I did that for 6-7 months, I just kept telling people I was on a diet or that I’d eaten already.

 Instead of loosing weight, I gained a lot and the teasing continued.

 I felt so bad at a certain point, 

that I didn’t even want to live any more.I hated school, I hated everything. 

At home they also noticed me gaining weight and my parents
started telling me to watch what I eat, that made me feel even worse.

They didn’t know that I didn’t eat at all during lunch, they just assumed that I ate,

because I used to pack my own lunch and my sisters’. So they thought I ate, while I’d only pack my sisters’ lunch and go to school like that. 

Sometimes I’d pack for myself, but I just wouldn’t eat it.

 By then I made some friends and they kept telling me to eat, but I just couldn’t. 

In my 3rd year I stopped binging.

 They would be days when I’d forget to pack my lunch (like seriously forget, not faking it),

 but then my friends would scold me and tell me to eat whatever was there..
So we’d share lunches very often, because I just couldn’t get used to making lunch for myself. 

In my 5th year I finally started eating normally. 

My class was much kinder, so I wasn’t teased that much and I had more friends..

I really enjoyed going to school and I reflected on myself a lot during that year (this was last year btw).

I really thought about my actions and what was right and what was wrong
and how I could improve myself.
I figured that if I really wanted to loose weight I should do it for myself and do it properly! If I really wanted to be happy I had to get myself together and start looking at myself differently. I had to try and convince myself of my own beauty, but how?

But okay this post is getting too long, so I’ll write a part 2 soon. :) 

keep this in mind though: 

 

Lots of love,

~Meli, Mita and Musa