I would do such a thing!?!

Okay, today I'm going to finish the story I wrote last week: "I never thought that..." So if you haven't read that one yet, go and read that first before you read this.

She told me that she had gone on a date with him, but she didn't expect the date to end the way it did.
They went for a walk and talked and laughed. After that, they went to his house. She told me: "he told me that his house wasn't far and that we could go and rest there for a bit before I go home. So I went. When I reached there and entered the house I felt a little strange. His bed was in the living room, he told me that was because they didn't have enough rooms, so yeah. Then he told me to sit down and I sat on the chair next to the bed, then he started asking me to join him on the bed an sit next to him. After denying quite a few times, I gave in and laid myself on the bed next to him.. It was extremely awkward. I really didn't know what to do.. He started tickling me and touching me.. I didn't know what to think of it all.. I told him to stop, but it just escalated from there. The next thing I noticed was that he was on me trying to take y clothes off.. I told him to stop and tried to get off the bed, but he pushed me back on it.. I told him that I didn't like it and that he should really stop and get off me, but he didn't. He took all my clothes off and started touching me. I felt really uncomfortable and really hated the way he was acting. I tried my best to get him off me, but he was too strong. I kept resisting, but nothing worked. I felt so helpless. I thought of my morals and boundaries that I was crossing with this. All of a sudden, I felt a lot of pain. It hurt so much, I had never felt such pain before. I told him to stop, but he just wouldn't. The pain just got worse and I didn't know what to do. I felt so powerless. I couldn't do anything to stop him and he just kept going. It was so frustrating. I just gave in.. After some time he finally stopped and I went home. I was so scared. I kept wondering how I could explain this at home and to my friends. And what if.. what if.. no no no that can't be...

Moral of the story:
Sometimes you make mistakes that you didn't want to make, in this case it was the fact that she went to his house without knowing him well or knowing what was going to happen. You should always stick to your morals and keep your boundaries and never give in! If you suspect something strange always try to talk to someone about it before something happens. If something happens don't give up or loose hope, learn from it and become stronger!

For this post even if it isn't a BACIB I have a song too:

Warrior by Demi Lovato 

~Musa

The one who can't sleep

I watched her figure, as she was getting ready for bed. I laid there waiting for her to come to me and hug me with her little arms. I had been sleeping all day, I'm not lazy, I just can't move by myself. The world hasn't given me the opportunity and it's just a tragic fate that I have to live with everyday. Sometimes, you know, I wish I could be like Ted, from that one silly movie I once watched. Moving around freely on my own, without anyone's help. I drifted from my thoughts once I saw her come out of the washroom to put her pajamas on. When she was all ready to sleep, my eyes clearly brightened up. I couldn't help but admire her beautiful laughter. There she was, looking like a panda who couldn't wait even one more second to fall flat on the surface of this not-so-very-soft-bed. Finally! The moment I've been waiting for! HUUUGS!!

-

There I was, laying in his arms with no worries inside my tremendously complicated sometimes-like-a-fish-peanut-brain. I had nothing in my head, it was blank for the first time in this tiring, long week. I couldn't be happier. It was like the happy ending of my every day routine.

-

She moved around a lot, she had a hard time finding the right position to sleep on. Luckily for me, I can sleep properly on any positions anywhere so it's not a problem for me if she keeps moving around a lot. We don't have to fight about it you know.

“I have always been a light sleeper, just like my mom”, she says with a soft voice as she keeps struggling to fall asleep.

-

I couldn't sleep again. Ofcourse. Normally, it takes me about half an hour to fall asleep on my bed, but I just couldn't do it. I struggled to keep his arms on me because I didn't want to wake him up. I haven't ever seen him angry and I certainly didn't want this to be the first time. Two hours had passed and I still laid there looking like a dead body trying to find the secrets of why I wasn't granted the superpowers of being a heavy/fast sleeper. I looked beside me. I was sooo very jealous of his ability to sleep properly everyday. How? HOW do you people do it? Give me some of your extra sleep that you don't need because you actually had some work to do instead. Please grant me some sleep!!, thank you..... Anyways, after a while I was hesitating between giving up on sleeping for the night and go bingewatch some K2 (kdrama) without any subtitles (cause I'm a hardcore fan like that) or go eat some happiness to fill my belly so that there's some food in my life. Obviously, I chose happiness.

-

Suddenly I was being carried away on her arms downstairs. I guessed she was hungry. One of the reasons why she can't sleep at night is because she's always hungry. Sometimes she wakes up in the middle of the night just to go fill her empty belly. Then she comes back right away to fall back asleep. She didn't walk back upstairs this time though. Instead, she opened the balcony door in this cold winter weather to suck some fresh air into her nose when she could've just opened her big ass window. She's weird sometimes.

-

After I ate some food, I decided to go get some fresh air because I was feeling so stuffy. I opened the door and inhaled some fresh midnight air with my eyes closed. Once I opened my eyes, I saw the most beautiful thing I'd seen in a long time. The moon. I let my thoughts run free through my head in hope that I'd get some sleep later. I was surprised I didn't cry or had some water drops run out my tired eyes, I also didn't have red eyes. I looked perfectly normal on the outside. I didn't even look like a panda from lack of sleep! I got a pretty good 30 minutes look at the moon and decided that it was time for war again.

Will I win or the i-won't-let-you-sleep-tonight-monster win? We'll see!

-

We came back to her room after she stared at the moon for about 30 minutes. She laid on her bed again and hugged me tightly. I fell asleep right away. While I was drifting away to sleep, I noticed her eyes twinkling. Right before the sleep monster took me in, I saw a tear roll down her eyes.

-              

“Thank you for being by my side when I am feeling alone.

  Thank you for being there for me.”   - Sleepless monster

Chapters of my life

Being a teenager isn't easy but ask yourself , what is easy in life?

I'm not a dramatic person with a dramatic teenage life, but I certainly did experience one, to be more accurate I am still experiencing it. I'm 16 years old, so I am still considered a teenager by society. I don't know what age I started feeling like a teenager, I remember feeling happy to leave my childhood and start adolescence to feel closer to being an adult. I remember having this great urge to grow up and quickly become an adult. I remember having this great imagination about having a job and being really wise and mature to have a good life. Now, I don't understand any of that.

I have this vivid memory of many experiences in my life that made quite some changes. I remember having these little fights with my parents because they wouldn't let me go outside of my city without an adult. I remember lying to them about going to a friend's house. I didn't do it often, but I still feel guilty about it sometimes. Now, I don't do it anymore. I still do have little fights with my parents sometimes, but the themes of the fights differ enormously from before. Honestly, I don't even fight with them that much. I've always been a quiet child and a good child. Compared to my brother, I have come forth as an angel to my parents even though my brother is not that bad a person. Sometimes I feel sorry for him actually.

I remember having this immense jealousy toward my extroverted friends, I'm not a social person and I have quite a hard time making friends because of my awkwardness that I've been living with since forever. I also consider myself an introvert and I'm quite shy too. All of these things made it quite hard for me to make friends after I came to Belgium, where I had many struggles such as cultural and language differences. Honestly, I still haven't grown out of any of my shyness or awkwardness, I still deal with it every day, but I've learned to cope with it somehow.

I also remember being in love or whatever you're supposed to call such a feeling when you're a teenager. That experience changed a lot about my way of thinking and view in life. I was quite selfish back then or I was just scared about being involved with such a strong feeling. I didn't want to get hurt and prevented everything from making me seem vulnerable. I didn't want anyone to know my weaknesses. I didn't want anyone to know my inner self. Only after two or three years I realized that all of my feelings were counter attacking each other. I realized why I had a hard time making friends, I realized why I was so jealous and why I didn't open up to anyone.

Now, I feel a lot wiser knowing all of these things. I feel like I've learned to become a good person. I know that I'm still learning and I still have a long way to go in life, but I'm satisfied with the lessons I've learned up to this day. I'm glad with the experiences that I've had and I'm happy that I'm able to share those today. Honestly, I'm just glad I have a story to tell. :)

 ~Mita